My father once told me,

“Go change your underwear before your mother finds out”.

It was sound advice, but more on that in a second.

I grew up with two amazing parents and four older siblings. Those six people showed me how to be a good brother, friend, and eventually father. As I got older and was exposed to other families and different walks of life, I realized just how special my upbringing was. Having a core group of people to talk to, play with, and learn from played such an integral roll in who I am today, and it all started with my parents.

“You don’t have to try too hard to have fun with your preschooler.

Just being with you is paradise for him.”

― Daniel J. Siegel, The Whole-Brain Child

There are endless ways to approach parenting. Some parents are non-existent in their child’s life, others might be a little too existent. Parenting can seem like a chore to some, but to others the greatest gift. Of course a lot of parents (myself included) fall somewhere in the middle and have moments where they are all of the above.

My parents had a common setup in 1970s -1990s. My mother handled most of the child rearing responsibilities and was very hands on with the five of us. As a parent of just two now, I can fully appreciate her superhuman ability to manage that many kids. Even with her endless to-dos, she was very engaged in all of my activities and always made me feel heard.

My father worked long hours for a lot of my early childhood. He owned a business that required him to be in the office early in the morning, and we usually only saw him at dinner time and on weekends. While my windows of time with him were short, my dad and I made the most of them.

The Great Slime Incident

One of my favorite memories was around the age of 10. My mom would give me a quarter to buy something at the grocery store vending machines. Most of the time I picked the green slime. This stuff is every parents worst nightmare. It was fun to play with in your hands, but once it touched fabric, the only option was to throw said fabric in the trash.

One night, my mom was out with friends and my dad and I had a guy’s night together. He bought a rotisserie chicken, cut it down the middle, put each half on a plate, pored two glasses of milk and we at dinner like vikings. I was so happy.

After dinner, I showed Dad my slime.

“Toss it over here” Dad said

He caught it, examined it and threw it back, but much harder. The slime smacked me in the forehead. My dad’s eyes squinted slightly and the corners of his mouth began to curl in a devilish grin…game on.

I launched it back at him. The slime missed its target and stuck to the wall behind him. My dad went to retrieve it and I took my position behind the couch for protection. For the next 20 min, my dad and I fired slime back and forth in an epic battle.

Game Over

The clearest memory I have of these moments is the laughter. My dad and I would laugh until our faces hurt. Unfortunately the laughter also distracted me. I peaked over the top of the couch anticipating my dad’s next throw, and out of the corner of my eye, I see my dad right next to me in a sneak attack! He quickly grabs the waist of my pants and drops the slime in the back of my underwear. Game over. Dad wins.

We both collapse in exhaustion. Thats when we hear the car door close in the garage.

Wide eyed and panicked, my dad and I looked at each other and whispered in unison “Mom!”

I quickly ran upstairs changed and threw the evidence in the trash. I definitely did not want my mom to find the third pair of slime stained underwear this month!

Being an Engaged Parent

These are the memories I will hold on to for life. When my parents were fully engaged in either play or conversation. As a parent myself, I know how challenging this can be while balancing adult life at the same time. Having said that, I am able to look back at how my parents made the effort, and just how important it was to my upbringing.

I can only hope that my sons have the same type of memories when they look back at their childhood.