I love watching hawks hunt. They exude gracefulness in their movements and confidence in their abilities. Animals have an innate skill to focus on a task. A survival technique, that if not mastered, will lead to a quick death. This hawk (I assume) has nothing else on its mind other than that next meal. It is not worried about 5 min ago, or an hour from now. 100% focus in the moment. 

Tapping into this type of focus can be a challenge for me.

Past/Future Aren’t as Important as Now

Past and future problems can cloud my mind. Memories of poor decisions made, or future “what if’s” have the ability to take over, if I let them. I often need to remind myself that none of those things matter. They are the mind creating those problems, and I have the ability not to allow that. 

Yes, learning from my past is extremely important. I have made many mistakes that I hope to never make again. Past experiences shape who we become and allow us to grow

Planning for the future is also crucial to my success. Without a vision of what I want for me and my family, I can easily lose my way and not keep my priorities straight.

But past and future issues are completely out of my control. I only have the ability to take action right now to either fix a past decision or do something that will benefit my future. Sitting and dwelling on what happened or might happen gets me nowhere.

Addressing these issues is the best way for me to move on. Here are a few things that have worked for me:

Talking

Discussing out loud whats on my mind has been crucial to freeing my mind of clutter. I am lucky to have an amazing companion in my wife. We are daily sounding boards for each other and are constantly working together through issues that are troubling us. Whether its daily parenting related problems or career path questions or how many stars are in the sky, there is no topic that goes uncovered.

Going for walks, sitting (device free) after the kids go to bed, or even just before we fall asleep, are times that we can vocalize any lingering thought or issue we have, and try to move on.

I also lean on different groups of friends or colleagues to work through problems I come across. It’s important that I get different perspectives on situations so that I am able to see the whole picture.

Talking to people allows me to get my thoughts out, clearing head space and giving me freedom to think more effectively.

Writing

I have been in and out of journaling for many years. I find that I write the most when something is bothering me and I need to work through it in my head. My thoughts can get easily get jumbled and just become noise if I don’t organize them. I don’t always come up with the answers (I usually don’t) but find that just writing the questions and comments I have, help me move on.

Recently I have started to write random creative prompts from here. It is a great way to force my brain to think of something other than the daily grind. I have surprised myself at what I come up with, and tapped into a creative side that I didn’t know existed.

Listening

When I am able to actively listen, I have found that the conversation is much more enjoyable for both me and the other person. Sometimes it can just be fun to try and see how much you can get the other person to say, but often times it leads to a deeper understanding of who that person really is.

It also is a great practice in getting out of my own head. It is impossible to have two thoughts at once, so focusing on someone else forces me to forget about my problems and show compassion for theirs.

How Do I Focus On Now

Just as the moon has no light of its own, the past and the future are only visible reflections of the light, power and eternity of the present

Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now

Eckhart Tolle wrote a book called The Power of Now. I purchased this book on Audible and listen to it on walks, mowing the lawn, or really any chance I can. The author has a deep understanding of this topic, and there are a ton of great insights in the book. Simple and actionable bits of advice that I now practice daily.

If I have a problem with a past decision, I try to make it right and move on. Furthermore, when stressed about things to come, I take immediate steps today to improve the situation and/or move on. 

If I effectively focus on now, the past and future tend to take care of themselves.

Simple, but True

As the wise turtle in Kung Fu Panda put it:

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why they call it the present.

The more present I am by, the better husband/father/friend/coworker I become.